My vote goes to retarded. Anyone else?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">With a thread title like, The fateful decision approaches.... more than a couple of warning bells go off.The guy needs help with a serious decision
If gary is worried about constructive criticism on a message board, he is going to have to develop thick skin...quickly.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 16, 2005 09:06 PM: Message edited by: avi_bb ]</font>
My vote goes to retarded. Anyone else?
Okay guys,
Let's cool it, there's no point laying into the guy. [img]wink.gif[/img] Avi looks new here, give him a chance!!!
Back to the topic in hand... [img]wink.gif[/img]
MP
As far as what i was saying about the age thing, i wouldn't want to imply that you should consider not doing it if you are past a certain age, not at all (but i think you understand that). I just figure it is best to know all one's motivations before making a life-changing decision.
You do sound like you have supportive family and that is wonderful. Your wife will be insecure at first, no doubt about it because, well... there WILL be a lack of security at first, as with all changes in life. As long as you logically plan for as many possibilities and outcomes as you can, then once you follow your heart things should turn out well for you, whether ideal circumstance or the goal is or isn't reached you will have done enough planning to cover your bases and not blinded chased a dream only to be left out in the cold.
From what i have heard, from what you have said, you sound like you have put more thought and planning into it that i initially thought, and you seem to have a good support base at home. I say cover your bases and then do what you feel lead to do... as long as you plan for all the outcomes and prepare your family, then i think whatever steps you decide to take will be the right ones for you... you sound level-headed about it, i think you will make the right choice, whatever that may be [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Wow!!! Heavy thread!!
Gary... not much else I can add except for my own personal story.
Having grown up around some pretty heavy pros in this industry (all kinds of musicians), I can tell you it's a feast or famine type of thing. All the input regarding the "business" side of it has become more a reality, especially in the last 20-30 years. I can remember when I was studying my butt off to become the best player I could be, I wanted to do what my freinds were doing. But I came to a crossroads in my life around the age of 26. Should I just jump in and "do it", or should I stick with my profession that brings me a foundation and quality of life?
Watching some of these players..... I've seen them go from rags to riches and visa versa. In todays world, it's a complex balance of business, marketing, schmoozing, talent, how good you are at opening doors by yourself and who you know.
As far as family is concerned..... well..... that's a big one. I always thought that if I decided to have a family, that my life would no longer be mine. That it belonged to my family. Certainly that didn't mean I would be dead, but thinking more about the "quality" of life, and not so much about possessions or status. No more taking extreme risks both physically or financially. My life would be seen through my kids eyes. And while I was making a living, I would be preparing for those golden years so my wife and I would live comfortably in our older age and our kids could depend on me for those times of need.
Now unless you really have a good game plan. I think the family should come 1st. You're what?? 34 now?? Believe you me... 40 comes fast, and then 50, then BAM!!! All of a sudden your back starts hurting, your joints don't work as they used to, and you're starting to think.... "I don't want to work this hard anymore". And think of the lifestyle of a pro musician.... living in a suitcase for weeks at a time, mostly playing in the evening when you could be home in front of the TV relaxing, or spending time with your kids/wife. Think of how it will effect your family and try to look through their eyes as best you can.
Most of the guys that have made the big bucks, and continue to make the big dollars are usually those that are of great talent (not to say you're not). People that are capable of re-inventing themselves. Or at the very least, great or rediculous players that would always have a ton of work if they chose to do so. There are a lot of "has beens" in this business. Alot of fads that last for a while, but then once the styles changes or peoples listening trends change, then you're out in the cold.
I don't envy you my friend. This is a very heavy decision. But I'm sure you'll do whats right in your heart and your mind. Think it through logically, even though the thought of making music for many people sounds like alot of fun. Don't let your emotions rule your common sense.
Couldn't've said it any better myself [& didn't [img]wink.gif[/img] ]
Of course, when I implied that anything & everything is risky, & nothing was ever gained w/out risk, that in no way meant throwing [uninformed] caution to the wind & diving in solely on emotion...
When I was younger, I too used to think that if I got married, settled down, &/or had kids it "would be all over" for me...not true in the least...but your priorities do [& must] change. Children & a great wife, family are THE most important things you'll ever have in your life. Once I grew out of my "self-faze" [debatable [img]wink.gif[/img] ], I began to understand this more plainly than ever. Now, I don't have a wife & kids, but a GF - [but I'm purely a musician by trade, so how long this will last is up for grabs! [img]wink.gif[/img] ] But I'm surrounded by family, & am an uncle several times over & can plainly see that this is more important than gold.
BION, it may be a sizeable part of it, but life is not just about me & my kit... [heresy you say?] ;c)
This thread has rapidly approached essential reading...["save as" .txt file 1, 2] ;c)
Those last two posts by mat & J'sM [well, all of 'em really] were superb - they said it well.
[img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]cool.gif[/img]
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 17, 2005 04:14 PM: Message edited by: fuseU1 ]</font>
mech,
i loved the post! i remember somehow talking my way into a gig w/ a gentleman by the name of alvin mckinney back in like 94. it was linda taylor (drew carey's MD), jervony collier, rique pantoja, mike smith, and a few names i can't remember. the gig was great, the music was awesome.
we played the spud at pasadena (no longer alive). i had just come back from seoul (i was checking out the music scene there as well - left cuz it was crappy music, couldn't see me raising my family abroad and had to smoke / drink in all business affairs - it's a cultural thang.) and was hoping to start a carrier in music in the states. believe me it was a rush to meet these working cats. all really nice people. but the thing that struck me the most was 1) i'm not the kind of person who can live without a stead paycheck. i hate UNCERTAINTY. 2) i knew what i wanted the most - which was to be married relatively young, have a family, a place to call our own and enjoy life with the love of my life. soooooo, when i talked to some of these guys and by what they were telling me - it was something i DIDN'T WANT.
* they were always on the road, and living outta
their suitcases.
* it wasn't necessarily the music they liked.
* some of them who had kids had to re-introduce themselves to their kids when they got back from tour.
* it is definitely feast or famine.
* i wanted a 401k for my retirement and health insurance for my family.
of course there are exceptions but for the most part it seemed like this was the case for alot of the musicians that i was starting to work with.
this has been a surprisingly great thread. surprised cuz i actually had some sort of experience of my own to share, and to have crystallized what i had always thought about my desision - i'm glad i finished school first, like my mom told me to. then again - that's just me [img]smile.gif[/img]
hope this helps.
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